Lately my calls have been fairly routine and my days off have been over taken by training necessary for re-licensing- hence the blogging silence. However, here are some highlights from the past week for your amusement.
1. Turns out those mini-beavers I’ve been seeing on the side of the road are actually giant rats. Nature- 1 Brain- 0
2. There are some good drivers, there are some bad drivers. It is advantageous to assume everyone is a bad drivers.
3. It is better to be fooled by a bush that looks like a deer than to not see the bush.
4. Just because your partner was raised in Saskatchewan does not mean they like country music. I know, I was surprised too.
5. When someone tells you they have had 1 or 2 beers- always multiply by at least 3. Same rule applies if they say they’ve had 5 or 6.
6. If you are too ashamed to tell me how many drinks you’ve had…you probably shouldn’t have had that many.
7. If you don’t know how many drinks you have had….you probably shouldn’t have had that many.
8. Never attempt to have a nice meal while sitting down on call. Failure will ensue.
9. Same rule applies to going to the bathroom 😦
10. In fact, don’t make any plans. Ever.
11. Beer smell, followed by urine smell, followed by vomit smell, followed by strobe lights, followed by rough roads- is an excellent recipe for job induced nausea.
12. Caffeine and/or chocolate does not improve said nausea. Very unfortunate.
13. Even if you think your patient who has peed 5 times en-route to the hospital is just messing with you…it is advantageous to act as though they are not.
14. One patient informed me I have a yellow aura. He said people with yellow auras reminds him of sunshine and birds. Hopefully the nice kind of birds and not vultures or something.
Keep it real.